Inner thoughts

It was a cool evening, the kind that flows with relaxation. A light breeze brushed his back. He absently thumped some ashes off of his clove cigarette and resumed his lazy swinging.

The stars are bright tonight, he thought. A kind of luminous haze stretched across the sky. The moon was full and bright, illuminating the few wispy clouds that passed overhead. Taking another draw on his clove, he laid his head back and let his mind wander. He could begin to feel the energies flowing about him, through him. This was what he wanted. Relaxation and cleansing were his purpose.

As it happened so many times before, his mind eventually found its way to memories of her. It recalled little things like the way she would look up through her lashes with an impish smile. These thoughts contented him and in turn made him smile. The stars twinkled and the energies flowed. Soon the clove had burned out but he still sat on the swing, rocking gently.

She had seemed a little distant. It was understandable, all things considered. He was fairly sure that he knew why, though he would never ask her. There were many things he would like to ask but would not. It would be too much like prying, which is something he tried to avoid. He decided that the best thing he could do was try to be more passive. She knows he is there with an understanding ear when she needs it. She knows that he will be there when she needs a friend, whether to talk or to rant or to just be a little silly.

There were things he wanted to talk about, but he will wait. She will come when she is ready. She has a very strong spirit…a very determined will. It was one of the things he admired most about her. The time would come when they could sit back in a restaurant with a cup of coffee and talk of life, make silly jokes, and quote movies for fun. It’s something that friends do.

Friends. He never used the word lightly. Most people would call almost any aquaintance a friend. To him, however, a friend is a special person one can open up to. Someone you can turn to and share intimate thoughts, worries, joys, fears, and dreams. Not many people fit that bill with him. He could probably count them on one hand. She was among them.

He knows she is having a rough time. The holidays and work and other troubles must be weighing down on her. His smile faded for a moment, he knew that he fit in the last category. This is probably the main reason she hasn’t wanted to talk lately. It frustrated him. He always tries to be there for his friends, to help them with whatever support he could give. This time, however, he has been unable to do that. Unable to be a firm rock for a friend to lean on when they needed it.

He shifted on the swing. Patience. The word echoed lightly in the recesses of his mind over and over. I know, I know. It isn’t easy for me sometimes though. He had to smile for he had the distinct feeling the silent part of his mind was smirking at him. He opened his eyes and looked up at the stars for a while, feeling the energies dance about him.

“Just remember you have a friend that will wait as long as it takes,” he whispered gently into the night sky as if afraid speaking any louder would somehow disrupt the magick of the evening.